*THIS IS GREAT..I WANNA MAKE A COMIC OUT OF IT..
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us
non-evangelicals. Actually, we’re a bit ticked off here in
California, so we’re leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we’re taking
all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that
includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East. We spoke to
God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in
the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited
about it; she’s going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm
EST next Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they
need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get
stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep the
Governor; we can live with that.) We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You
get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85%
of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all
the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about
two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red
states pay their fair share.
Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you
like that. Did I mention we produce about 70% of the
nation’s veggies? But heck the only greens the
Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs.
Oh yeah, another thing, don’t plan on serving California
wine at your state dinners. From now on it’s imported French
wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts. Just so we’re clear, the
country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war.
Speaking of war, we’re going to want all Blue States
citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just
ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they’re
willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose.
And they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their
kids’ caskets coming home. Anyway, we wish you all the best
in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find
those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
*PARK CITY WRAP-UP..
my adventure in park city has come and gone. but it was quite good stuff. thanks to the freedom cinema fest for bringing me and the prophets up there..they’ve got a decent future once they work out all the bugs…
highlights include:
-meeting 2000 green party vice presidential candidate winona la duke. she was really cool and down to earth… AND she gave me a package of wild rice.
-prince paul’s (producer of de la soul’s “3ft. high and rising”, handsome boy modeling school) deejay set at the slamdance party, headlined by p-funk keyboardist bernie worrell, along with will calhoun and doug wimbish (living colour)…special guest: george clinton!!
-the documentary “murderball”..keep an eye out for this film..it’s about paraplegic rugby players…
-vegan and vegetarians cuisine by sage’s cafe, in salt lake city. check out this place..you will not be disappointed.
the low-light was the movie “hustle and flow”…this movie was the big success of sundance and scored the festival’s largest distribution deal in history. it’s the heart-warming story of a black pimp and his various hoes…and how he struggles to leave the biz by making gun and hoe rap.
good performances by the actors. pathetic stereo-types created by the writer/director.
expect a comic soon..
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