I (50-ish white guy) passed a young (college-aged) black man on the street. He presented as a typical closed-in bad-ass dude, but I gave him my standard “Good morning” smile (Hartford not being NYC) and he turned into a friendly kid, telling me he just saw something amazing and I should check it out.
Smile at someone today! Sometimes they smile back!
Lived and worked on the south side of Chicago throughout my twenties (white woman). Often, out walking alone at any time of the day, I’d see a black man, usually decades older, approaching in the distance, and he would invariably nod to me and cross to the other side of the street.
His reaction was probably a combination of trying to make me feel comfortable and perhaps, at the same time, protect himself–the men who usually did this were generally around the age Emmett Till would have been if he hadn’t been so horribly killed as a young boy for “insulting a white woman.” In a way, I was a bigger threat to them than they ever were to me.
Being aware of this has always made me terribly sad. I walked and rode the CTA all over Chicago, often alone, sometimes at odd hours of the night, and I can think of only one instance when I felt unsafe: entering a train car in late car and finding that the only other occupant was a creepy, pasty-looking white guy who somehow gave off a weird predatory vibe. I’m sure he didn’t give a damn about my comfort level, either. White men, of course, were completely oblivious.
I will say that when standing in line at an ATM I usually give the person at the machine plenty of space and privacy and prefer that whoever is just behind me do the same for me. It’s possible that this guy was paranoid about shoulder surfers, regardless of their race, and overreacted because of that. But obviously, I wasn’t there, and Glover was, and he probably has a finely-tuned white-anxiety radar.
I noticed your strip as I was doing the crossword tonight. It really got me thinking. It made me want to ask a question. Full disclosure first though: I am a white male who is transgendered (I identify female, but was born male). The reason I add my unique gender status is because I too feel the urge to ease those around me’s discomfort regarding my appearance and mannerisms.
To quote your strip:
“It got me thinking if there’s anything white people do to make blacks feel more comfortable…”
My question: What WOULD make you feel more comfortable?
And, if you feel comfortable answering this: Where does the discomfort stem from?
It ain’t much, but I make a point of NOT crossing the street when I see a black man approaching on the sidewalk, even if the place I’m going is on the other side.
Some time back in the late 1970s, I was chatting with a guy I had just met in friendly circumstances. I’m white and was about 30, he was in his early 20s and black, and his girlfriend, also there, was white. I asked him what I could do to help (in a global way – he understood). He thought for a moment and said that when I passed them on the street, I could give them a big smile.
Still today, when I pass a “mixed” couple (well, for me a mixed couple is a man and a woman, but you know what I mean), I think of that conversation and try to come up with an expression that is welcoming, supportive, not insane, and not subject to misinterpretation. I think a lot.
Fortunately I live in Los Angeles, so I don’t pass people on the sidewalk very often.
Glover is a gem. That’s all there is to say. My daughters think he’s smart, cute and love to see him wherever he shows up. I can’t blame them.
Of course they like Keef too!
Ouch! Not all white people are just *dying* to use the n-word and capable of shooting a stranger on the front porch. That was a rather broad stroke you painted. I love your race-related comics and the reflections you offer on ways we fail to see and respect each other as people, but after reading the Nelson Mandela quotes a moment ago, this comic made me a little sad. Is it okay for a black man to generalize about white people based on the actions of a non-representative collection shitty white people?
If Donald Glover had been behind me at a ATM, I would have been extremely nervous. He’s a comedic genius both onscreen and as a writer (he wrote for 30Rock). He’s kind to fans, smart as hell, and is gifted across multiple mediums. I would have been trying to work up the nerve to ask for a selfie with him.
I found this to be much to true. One of my former boyfriends could go on for days on the way people wanted to treat him like he was missing brain cells just because he was (horrors) black. (This was back in the nineties.)
Not only was he black, he was tall and muscular. He also was one of the brainiest men I’ve ever met.
Of course I won’t go into the stuff about how we had to behave to not upset all the straight people with that mixed race gay couple – one of them in yarmulke. . .
Hegelian/Marxist Telepathy?
.
……. Pronoun, I CAN tell you (& therefore ‘represent’ for those about which I’m ‘tellin’)
what ‘others’ (hint: ‘privilege’ cannot be ‘othered’. Lol) think and feel because of my innate cultural prescience – Cultural Comforting Telepathy ….
.
Boy ow boy, darn good thing there are compassionate non ‘others’ making it THEIR prerogative to comfort (err, culturally ” coffin” is still closer) & ‘represent’ (“every” one of) those that they so generously choose to speak for …
.
…….. that’s some snazzy moralizing which “resonates” – piss on modus ponens for the “higher” “existence” in us all ……………………….. its altruism like this making the world a more comfortable place!
;)
I (50-ish white guy) passed a young (college-aged) black man on the street. He presented as a typical closed-in bad-ass dude, but I gave him my standard “Good morning” smile (Hartford not being NYC) and he turned into a friendly kid, telling me he just saw something amazing and I should check it out.
Smile at someone today! Sometimes they smile back!
Lived and worked on the south side of Chicago throughout my twenties (white woman). Often, out walking alone at any time of the day, I’d see a black man, usually decades older, approaching in the distance, and he would invariably nod to me and cross to the other side of the street.
His reaction was probably a combination of trying to make me feel comfortable and perhaps, at the same time, protect himself–the men who usually did this were generally around the age Emmett Till would have been if he hadn’t been so horribly killed as a young boy for “insulting a white woman.” In a way, I was a bigger threat to them than they ever were to me.
Being aware of this has always made me terribly sad. I walked and rode the CTA all over Chicago, often alone, sometimes at odd hours of the night, and I can think of only one instance when I felt unsafe: entering a train car in late car and finding that the only other occupant was a creepy, pasty-looking white guy who somehow gave off a weird predatory vibe. I’m sure he didn’t give a damn about my comfort level, either. White men, of course, were completely oblivious.
I will say that when standing in line at an ATM I usually give the person at the machine plenty of space and privacy and prefer that whoever is just behind me do the same for me. It’s possible that this guy was paranoid about shoulder surfers, regardless of their race, and overreacted because of that. But obviously, I wasn’t there, and Glover was, and he probably has a finely-tuned white-anxiety radar.
Maybe he was just a really big fan of Community and was anxiously trying to come up with a Troy and Abed routine.
Super excellent email of the week:
Hi Keef,
I noticed your strip as I was doing the crossword tonight. It really got me thinking. It made me want to ask a question. Full disclosure first though: I am a white male who is transgendered (I identify female, but was born male). The reason I add my unique gender status is because I too feel the urge to ease those around me’s discomfort regarding my appearance and mannerisms.
To quote your strip:
“It got me thinking if there’s anything white people do to make blacks feel more comfortable…”
My question: What WOULD make you feel more comfortable?
And, if you feel comfortable answering this: Where does the discomfort stem from?
Sincerely,
Curious Girl
It ain’t much, but I make a point of NOT crossing the street when I see a black man approaching on the sidewalk, even if the place I’m going is on the other side.
Some time back in the late 1970s, I was chatting with a guy I had just met in friendly circumstances. I’m white and was about 30, he was in his early 20s and black, and his girlfriend, also there, was white. I asked him what I could do to help (in a global way – he understood). He thought for a moment and said that when I passed them on the street, I could give them a big smile.
Still today, when I pass a “mixed” couple (well, for me a mixed couple is a man and a woman, but you know what I mean), I think of that conversation and try to come up with an expression that is welcoming, supportive, not insane, and not subject to misinterpretation. I think a lot.
Fortunately I live in Los Angeles, so I don’t pass people on the sidewalk very often.
Glover is a gem. That’s all there is to say. My daughters think he’s smart, cute and love to see him wherever he shows up. I can’t blame them.
Of course they like Keef too!
it’s a messed-up world, but i love it.
Amazing. Possibly the most thought provoking comic that I have seen in along time.
Ouch! Not all white people are just *dying* to use the n-word and capable of shooting a stranger on the front porch. That was a rather broad stroke you painted. I love your race-related comics and the reflections you offer on ways we fail to see and respect each other as people, but after reading the Nelson Mandela quotes a moment ago, this comic made me a little sad. Is it okay for a black man to generalize about white people based on the actions of a non-representative collection shitty white people?
If Donald Glover had been behind me at a ATM, I would have been extremely nervous. He’s a comedic genius both onscreen and as a writer (he wrote for 30Rock). He’s kind to fans, smart as hell, and is gifted across multiple mediums. I would have been trying to work up the nerve to ask for a selfie with him.
I found this to be much to true. One of my former boyfriends could go on for days on the way people wanted to treat him like he was missing brain cells just because he was (horrors) black. (This was back in the nineties.)
Not only was he black, he was tall and muscular. He also was one of the brainiest men I’ve ever met.
Of course I won’t go into the stuff about how we had to behave to not upset all the straight people with that mixed race gay couple – one of them in yarmulke. . .
Hegelian/Marxist Telepathy?
.
……. Pronoun, I CAN tell you (& therefore ‘represent’ for those about which I’m ‘tellin’)
what ‘others’ (hint: ‘privilege’ cannot be ‘othered’. Lol) think and feel because of my innate cultural prescience – Cultural Comforting Telepathy ….
.
Boy ow boy, darn good thing there are compassionate non ‘others’ making it THEIR prerogative to comfort (err, culturally ” coffin” is still closer) & ‘represent’ (“every” one of) those that they so generously choose to speak for …
.
…….. that’s some snazzy moralizing which “resonates” – piss on modus ponens for the “higher” “existence” in us all ……………………….. its altruism like this making the world a more comfortable place!
;)