The Official K Chronicles and (Th)ink Website

*EMAIL OF THE WEEK:

(from u.s. soldier j.d. in iraq!!)

Hey, I just finished your latest book you sent me (thanks for the SF
Chronicle!), and it is great. I rarely laugh out loud at comics anymore,
but your work does it. It actually makes me want to pull out my marker and
try art of my own. I liked getting a chance to catch up on your own life,
too, seeing you got married, and to a German chick! I was actually
surprised at how much we have in common.

I lived in Germany from 85-95 and was married to a chick from Bamberg,
near Nurnberg. She came over with me when I was transferred to Fort Ord in
Monterey, and that lasted about 6 months. She couldn’t adapt to our
fucked up country and culture, too different. She missed her family and
food and beer and friendly people and being able to walk to the shops or
being able to take a bus or train…I understood. One can’t help but be
insulted though, that she would rather divorce you than live in America.
We hooked back up when I got out and moved to Germany, but them grew apart
over the years. Still friendly though.

And like you, I am also…..a breast man! Yes! (And as you know, you
can’t beat German girls for breasts! Must be in the genes…) I miss it so
much over there, I lived in Munich and Augsburg. I’m sure your wife knows
about Augsburg. I would like to go back someday. You are lucky, SF is
probably one of the few cities a German could live and not be totally
alienated, like if she was dropped in the middle of Bakersfield or
Birmingham, Alabama.

Actually, you would like it over here in Iraq, as we have this crazy
satellite dish rigged up, and it gets like 10 channels of advertising for
porn, and it mostly shows chicks naked from the waist up touching their
breasts. A breast man like myself can watch it for hours. I do laugh at
the hypocrisy of many of the Arabic people though, as most of the channels
have arabic writing on it, or it is in English saying “for Arabic,
call…”. I was a little surprised, I thought they were such a tight-ass
culture, but there sure is a lot of porn on this dish for them! The way I
see it, if they didn’t buy it, it wouldn’t be advertised.

I liked reading about your German in-laws, they reminded me of mine. On
“Silvester” (New Years) the whole family would be shooting off
fire-works, and old grandma would be off to the side with a broom griping
and bitching to herself, sweeping up the debris and papers, etc.. She
couldn’t wait until morning, someone might see the mess. She cussed me
out once “Scheiss Ami!” for hanging my comforter out the balcony window to
air out, but it has (shudder) Sunday! What would the neighbors think!? I
love the breads over their too. I used to go to work early in the morning
and pass by the bakeries at 5 AM and the smells of the bread….drool…
I have some “Werner” cartoon books, like yours. The artwork is similiar,
too. It is a working class strip, I am sure your old lady knows about it.
They made a movie about it, too. Pretty cool.

I liked many of your strips, especially the one about “anti-american
sentiment” telling people not to buy any crap for the holiday season. I feel
exactly the same way. Shit, am I becoming a fan boy?

I related to the one strip where you threw a tomato at the Yuppie with the
horn problem. When I lived up on Nob Hill on Polk, I did the same thing,
from my apartment. I usually used eggs that I had let sit out though to
warm up and rot. Usually it would be someone at the light who didn’t move
fast enough for the self-righteous prick in the BMW, so after 2 seconds he
would lay into the horn. The fact that he blared it long enough for me to
get up, open my window, grab an egg and see who it was proves he did it
way too long. Splat, right on the windshield. No harm to their car
except their vanity.

I also agree with your views on mp3 downloading. I have bought so much
music because I was able to hear it first from an mp3. I discovered the
Dandy Warhols, Belle and Sebastion, Interpol…so many groups because of
it. And many times, I used to own the tape or cd and lost it or
something, so I feel I already “own” the rights to that album and will
download it at my own free will. The whole industry is a scam.

I also laughed about your “people who shouldn’t be trusted”, people who
hold their sneezes in. What the hell is that about? Sneezes are there
for a reason, let em’ rip! I certainly don’t hold back. Also Ketchup on
hotdogs. Weird people do this. Do they put relish on their steaks?

I liked the thing about while in Germany, seeing troops on TV criticizing
the war. Wolf Blitzer was over here 2 weeks ago in the mess hall
interviewing soldiers, and I walked up to the “PR Rep” from the Army, a
black female Sergeant, and I asked her if I could get on camera, and she
asked me what I was going to say. I said I wanted to say that I thank the
american people for their support and that we soldiers aren’t here on our
own free will, and that most of us don’t agree with the reason we came
over….guess what, she wouldn’t let me. I was “escorted” away from the
table. Oh well, I put most of it on my website anyway.

I can’t get into the whole Star Wars thing. The first one was okay, the
original I saw in 77? but they have gotten worse every movie. The last
one was soooo bad, such cheesy dialog and acting… I don’t get it, I
guess. How does a robot in a distant galaxy, a long time ago, etc… HAVE
A FUCKIN’ BRITISH ACCENT! Anyway…and can’t someone program that little
fuckin’ droid R2-D2 to “SPEAK ENGLISH”? Almost everyone else in the films
do. And come on, even you had to admit the Phantom Menace was SO
stereotyped, I couldn’t believe it.

But I am rambling. I just wanted to say hey and thanks for the papers.
Hope to get back to SF sometime soon, as soon as Bush is through playing
God and using us as his personal little Christian Army.

Sorry about the hair. But at least you are black, you can pull off the
bald thing much better than us pasty white guys who end up looking like
soccer hooligans or skinheads.

Thanks,

J.D.
Soldier
Iraq