*SO’S I’M BACK FROM PARIS…

*sigh*…i didn’t think i would be so sad to leave..and i got back just in time for the delightful inauguration of our lovely president…

some paris related emails (with some good advice if you’re going over!!):

Keef,

I wrote you once before a long time ago; I tried to give you my sister (this was before you were married, after you did that cartoon about the pricelessness of milk crates). I met you once too at a book fair in the Ft. Mason center. I think you were eating (and you still had big hair) when I walked up to you and pointed, all stalker-like, and said, “You’re Keith Knight!” just as you were about to stick a forkful of food into your mouth. Good times, good times.

I see from your blog you’re in Paris right now. I was writing to tell you how much I, too, love bidets, but when I went to Paris for the first time (in September), I was disappointed as to the dearth of bidets in the city (we stayed near the Repubblique metro stop). They were, sincerely, one of my highest expectations for the trip. Luckily, though, we went to Rome as well, and Italy, as well as being full of funny boozy people who hug you a lot, is full of bidets. We couldn’t throw a stone without hitting one. In Florence, in fact, we had two, one in our hotel room and another in our bathroom. I spent a lot of time on bidets in Italy. Fabulous country.

-n.c.

Hey Keef,

No doubt I’m too late to pass this along, but it’s worth a shot if you’re in

Paris for another day or so! It’s been 6 years since I was in my favourite

city, but some memories are still fresh in my mind for advice-giving:

FOOD:

* I couldn’t afford to eat out much while I was in Paris (had run out of

money by that point), but I’m very glad I managed to try the deli sandwiches

in le Marais – so you’re well positioned to do the same. Everyone talks

about the Jo Goldenberg deli, but when I went it was so full I just fucked

off next door to the Finkelstajn deli. I hope to God you’re not vegetarian,

because memories of the smoked meat sandwich I had in there will make me

pity you if you are! If not, be sure to let them smother the ‘sammich’ in

“caviar d’aubergines”. I told a friend about this and now he raves too –

it’s basically a creamier, tastier baba ghanouj (no caviar involved), and is

to die for!

* I didn’t actually make it (for shame!), but everyone tells me Berthillon,

on the Ile St Louis (just behind Notre Dame) has some of the world’s best

ice cream.

* And these two are probably obvious, but try at least one “crepe limon”

(lemon crepe, loaded with icing sugar) and one “doner” (gyros topped with a

ton of fries and aioli).

ART & MUSEUM TOURISTY SCHTUFF:

* Here’s the best cheapass tip I can give you: Buy an erasable pen. You

know those stupid papermate things with the crappy black erasers? Canadians

LIVE by them – there’s something that happens to us when we get to Europe;

we all become cheap, sneaky fuckers! If you buy a “so many days travel in

so many days” Eurail pass, they’re probably still on a kind of honour system

where you fill in your own dates. Erasable pens make for UNLIMITED travel

if you’re careful in inking in the numbers, and even more careful to break

the eraser in before touching it to the pass :D Anyway, you’re probably not

travelling much, but the erasable pen thing comes in handy if the Paris

“Carte Musees” is still an honour system fill thing too. I used my 3 day

card for two full weeks of sightseeing.

* One of the most moving (but not the most uplifting) museums I saw in Paris

was the Deportation and Resistance Museum. It’s hidden away in a wing of

Les Invalides, next to the building where Napoleon’s tomb (WASTE OF TIME!)

is housed. The first floor is almost as much of a waste, though it does

have Andre Devigny’s ropes in a glass case (have you ever seen A Man

Escaped?). The second floor is an almost-forgotten (deliberately) memoir of

the Parisians who were deported to German prison camps. There are some

difficult artifacts, but some that are really beautiful too. I’ll be honest

and say I don’t know if I’d recommend it, as it sounds like you’re having a

“fun” holiday, and I’m not sure how your wife would cotton to the idea of

the French blaming the Germans for all the atrocities (feels like

overcompensation for their own rollover in 1940). Weird fact that shows

history has a long memory: The “Japanese” aliens in the French-language

version of the Phantom Menace speak with a German accent.

* If you were planning to, don’t bother wasting much time at the Louvre.

It’s huge, impersonal, and the “big name” stuff is surprisingly

underwhelming. Even the Caravaggios (my fave old master painter) are kind

of blah.

* Instead of the Louvre, do yourself a favour and cut on over to the Rodin

Museum. It’s in the 7th district (77, rue de Varenne) and in my opinion is

the best museum in Paris. It’s cozy, beautifully laid out and absolutely

STACKED with mind-blowing exhibits. (BTW there’s a Canadian embassy around

the corner from it, if you can’t face the thought of returning to

Jesusland!)

* If you’re an Impressionist fan, there are two must-sees in Paris. The

first, an obvious choice, is the Musee D’Orsay. It’s so jam-packed with big

names I actually found myself paying more attention to the beautiful

architecture than the paintings – that much impressionism in one room is a

bit overstimulating! The second museum, the Orangerie, isn’t as touristed,

but has some cooler works – Modigliani and Soutine (who looks like he

painted on acid), and the “money shot” works of Monet’s Waterlilies in the

basement. Worth the price of admission, or at least the forging of a Carte

Musees! ;)

* If you’ve got a clear day, try to see the Sainte-Chappelle (behind the

Conciergerie if I’m not mistaken) just as the sun goes down. The stained

glass starts to look like it’s on fire.

* There are two museums that won’t be of much interest if your (or your

wife’s) French isn’t up to snuff, but if it is try the Musee Cluny (medieval

stuff) and the Musee Carnavalet (history of Paris) if it is. They’re both

full of neat stuff.

OTHER

* Shakespeare and Co bookstore is awesome. And if you’re ever back in Paris

in an adventurous mood, know that the couches at the base of the second and

third floor bookshelves are actually free beds for travellers. The American

guy who runs the place is certifiable, but it makes for great traveller

stories.

* For a laugh, walk down the main drag in the 5th district (Left Bank)

during the evening. There’s a bunch of Greek restaurants, whose

greasy-looking maitre d’s try to lure potential clients in by – no joke –

SMASHING PLATES. It’s like a weird animal mating ritual where they all try

to out-smash each other for business. I swear to God, I once heard a guy

berating some women who walked past his display, “ehhh! Where-a you go? I

break-a dees plate for you!”

My last piece of advice – be prepared for disappointment. Once you’ve seen

Paris, every other city in the world suffers in comparison.

Cheers, man!

Intensely jealous,

E

(what’s nice about that last email is that we did a lot of those things…but we just stumbled across them by accident…-k)

Hi Keef,

I just saw this week’s cartoon at salon.com, and it was right on target.

I spent a semester in France a few years ago, and I remember a little street

in Caen that was like a mine field, all but impassable. There was another

occasion when I stepped into something, slipped, and almost broke my leg.

The most memorable incident, however, was a trip to the police prefecture

in Paris on some immigration business. While I was waiting for someone to

put some stamp in my passport (they always make you wait for hours…), I

started chatting with a girl who was waiting to have a stamp put in her

passport, and we hit it off although she seemed to smell a little funny.

Then, when I got home, I realized that I’d been smelling the dog poo on

_my_ shoe. The amazing thing is that we ended up dating (sort of), and I

remember that one of the first things she said on our first night out was

some wisecrack about dogs in France…

Looking forward to your next cartoon,

-p

Hi,

No such animal. The poodle (originally called the butel) is a German dog. The French invented the stupid haircut. In Germany you never see it with that haircut.

Nope, I don’t own one, never have, never will. I do have a Standard Schnauzer.

I really like your work. My wife knows your new editor. She tells me he is a nice guy.

Regards,

M, ex-New Yorker.

*UPCOMING…

-so i’ll be in park city, utah next week to do some slideshow stuff and perform with the marginal prophets. check the calendar section for details.

-february is gonna be a busy month. besides wondercon on the 18-20, there’s the cartoon art museum’s annual fundraiser the night of the 18th. it’s called “comics4comics” and it brings together a number of hilarious comedians, local and national cartoonists, and food and drink for a night of fun. i’ll be there. you should be, too. check out http://www.cartoonart.org for more info.

-the night before (thursday, feb. 17), i’ll be doing a slideshow presentation/lecture at the san francisco art institute in north beach at 6pm. hopefully, i’ll have the new book back by then.

-five days before that, i’ll be at the charles schulz museum in santa rosa participating in a tribute to morrie turner, the ground-breaking cartoonist who broke a number of color barriers, and is the creator of “wee-pals”…

*whew*…a lot of stuff going down…hopefully, i’ll see or hear from you along the way…

cheers!